Over the weekend, I went on an excursion to Lenox, Massachusetts, and spent the day at the Kripalu yoga center for a day of "Retreat & Renewal." It is a gorgeous place, set in the hills of the Berkshires, with wooded grounds, great lawns, and a view of a huge lake. I had my camera locked in my locker for the duration of the day, and several times I thought about going to get it to make some art. But I thought again, and decided that it would be fun to try to record the essence of the experience in my head in another way - to remove myself from the ability to instantaneously record what I was seeing, in order to more fully immerse myself in the sounds, smells, and feeling of the place.
The feeling there was very loving and light-hearted. I could understand why many people from the city would want to take a retreat there, because it allowed time for relaxing in the hot tub and sauna, hearing lectures, going to yoga, taking walks on the grounds, and chatting with people over delicious vegetarian meals. At the same time, it wasn't too intensely driven towards having epiphanies - it was very accepting of people at whatever level they happened to be on. In that way, I understood why it would be a gateway for a lot of people new to a yoga practice, or even new to the idea of nurturing their true natures. Having had a lot of practice, at times I wondered if the place was too gentle for my taste. But then again, maybe the atmosphere could serve as a reminder to me that I could be more like that - accepting of people wherever they are.
When you walk out of the main building at Kripalu, you are greeting by an amazing view of tall, green mountain not too far in the distance. Overlooking the great lawn sloping steeply away from the building, you see first a forest, then a layer of water (the lake is nestled in there), and then the mountain stands serenely over the water. There are a couple of smaller mountain friends to the side and behind the big guy. And the sky above is fun to watch throughout the day as the weather changes and the sun moves across. A year and a half ago, I was there in the winter, and I took some photos of this view. It was beautiful in the summer as well! But I wondered at the idea of just relishing the view for myself in that moment - I wondered if I had gotten into the habit of letting experience slip away in just mechanically recording everything in the instant that I noticed it. With digital technology, I find that it's easy to snap away, and forget to relish the fleetingness of a moment.
Early in the day, I took a walk through the scene described above. I walked all the way down the huge driveway that curved around the great sloped lawn. I crossed the street into a small field, and followed the path deep into the forest. I could hear a creek running not too far from the trail, and lots and lots of birds. The forest was very lush and thick, and sunlight only twinkled through in tiny spots. As I walked and walked, I relaxed a great deal into the idea of feeling like I was part of nature. (We humans forget that we are sometimes, don't we?) Finally, I came to a clearing, and found myself on the banks of the huge lake I had seen from up above. I waded into the water, which was pretty warm, and totally soothing as it lapped against my skin.
As I type this, I am relaxing on the back porch of my parents' house near Greater Cleveland, Ohio, gazing out into the dense woods on a beautiful sunny summer day. The sun is brightening patches of the green forest floor, birds are singing, and the wind is dancing through the leaves. Just now, a fawn was grazing along the banks of the creek that runs through their woods. It was so beautiful, with its spotted sides and flicking tail! It walked a few steps along the creek and met up with its mother, and they disappeared into the the thick woods together. A bright red cardinal is now darting around from tree to tree. And, as I sit here, I find that trying to keep up with recording the beauty I find in nature is simultaneously impossible and effortless - impossible because there are infinite things of wonder to try to record, and effortless because to capture even the slightest essence of it is to succeed in having glimpsed the whole of it.
And that was what my day of getaway at Kripalu was all about. One of my favorite moments came late in the afternoon, when I was exploring a different part of their vast grounds. Suddenly, I thought to myself, "You are not going to cover all the grounds in one day. You're not meant to. That's why people stay here for weeks at a time." With that thought, my mind utterly relaxed. I walked into a small clearing surrounded by trees, and found a seat on a bench. There was a large birch tree directly in front of me, with it's leaves dangling around in the breeze. I sat there for several minutes, simply looking at the tree, and not thinking of much else.
I think there's something metaphoric about that thought that had come to me spontaneously: that we are not meant to cover all the grounds here in one day. Maybe we can slow down and just experience what's right in front of us.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Little Glass Objects
In exploring the Berkshires, a charming county in the Appalachian foothills of Western Massachusetts, I came upon this wonderful artist's shop called Cheshire Glassworks. Cheshire is the name of the town (although the crescent moon on the sign out front does lend itself to an Alice in Wonderland double-entendre), and the shop is situated on state route 7.
Jill Balawender, who is the youthful, energetic glass artist and owner of the shop, gave an awesome impromptu glass bead-making demonstration using a torch mounted at her in-shop work station. We had to wear special glasses that show only certain color temperatures of light in order to be able to see the bead working in the flame (otherwise it would have just appeared to be a fiery blob!). She also showed us a small kiln where recently fired glass objects were kept heated to a certain temperature in order to harden before cooling completely. She said this hardening process was what made it possible for you to drop one of her beads and not have it shatter on the floor.
I loved chatting with Jill. She is a true artist, and loves her craft. She spoke enthusiastically about the simple pleasures of her work, and the immense pleasure of the creative and flexible life her glass shop has enabled her to have. Even the gift bag she wrapped my purchase in was inspiring. It is stamped with a Picasso quote that reads
Art washes away
from the soul
the dust of
everyday life.
I loved hearing Jill's stories about vending necklaces along the beach before taking a glass workshop that formed her new vision and subsequent business. She seemed absolutely willing to give her heart and mind the space to hear where the wind was calling her to go. And when that call came, she followed it. It seems so simple a story! How many of us can say we embarked on our career paths in such an organic, effortless manner? Jill spoke with a calm trust about her creative urges, and the way that following them created exactly the flexible, fun lifestyle she wanted. And now she gets to play with colored glass for a living all day long!
Now that's one cool woman.
Pictured above are two small glass containers that I bought from Jill, sitting on my windowsill in Brooklyn. (In the background you can see the two purple flowery plants I picked up in the Berkshires, as well.)
Jill Balawender, who is the youthful, energetic glass artist and owner of the shop, gave an awesome impromptu glass bead-making demonstration using a torch mounted at her in-shop work station. We had to wear special glasses that show only certain color temperatures of light in order to be able to see the bead working in the flame (otherwise it would have just appeared to be a fiery blob!). She also showed us a small kiln where recently fired glass objects were kept heated to a certain temperature in order to harden before cooling completely. She said this hardening process was what made it possible for you to drop one of her beads and not have it shatter on the floor.
I loved chatting with Jill. She is a true artist, and loves her craft. She spoke enthusiastically about the simple pleasures of her work, and the immense pleasure of the creative and flexible life her glass shop has enabled her to have. Even the gift bag she wrapped my purchase in was inspiring. It is stamped with a Picasso quote that reads
Art washes away
from the soul
the dust of
everyday life.
I loved hearing Jill's stories about vending necklaces along the beach before taking a glass workshop that formed her new vision and subsequent business. She seemed absolutely willing to give her heart and mind the space to hear where the wind was calling her to go. And when that call came, she followed it. It seems so simple a story! How many of us can say we embarked on our career paths in such an organic, effortless manner? Jill spoke with a calm trust about her creative urges, and the way that following them created exactly the flexible, fun lifestyle she wanted. And now she gets to play with colored glass for a living all day long!
Now that's one cool woman.
Pictured above are two small glass containers that I bought from Jill, sitting on my windowsill in Brooklyn. (In the background you can see the two purple flowery plants I picked up in the Berkshires, as well.)
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Summer in the City
Just a few summer snaps from my meanderings about Brooklyn (no, the second one is NOT Miami!)...
and Manhattan...
and even returning to Manhattan from Chicago....
and Manhattan...
and even returning to Manhattan from Chicago....
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Happiness
I have decided to be happy.
Against all odds, I have decided to be happy. This goes against everything our parents and ancestors have taught us - that we are striving for something or fighting against something. But instead of occupying myself with things like that, I've decided to occupy myself in what I believe to be a more effective way - with being happy.
It's like they say, "You can't 'fight war.' You have to exude peace." Because fighting war is still fighting, DUH! And striving for happiness is really just "striving," it's not Happiness. Unless you can find happiness in the striving, find peace and enjoyment in the stress. I don't know a lot of people who are striving in that way, though. Most of us are just striving.
But I've been focused on the striving long enough (my whole life!), and now I am focusing on the happiness. Do you remember glee? Perhaps from your childhood? Do you ever let yourself feel that? It's still there. If all the other life lessons are still there, so is your ability to experience glee. But we haven't learned to value glee. We are have not been rewarded for it by our parents (at least not consistently) or by our society, so we hesitate to share it or even experience it. Does anyone else see that that's kind of stupid?
Science tells us we only use 10% of our brain power. What do you suppose that is all about?! Well, we learn, we are taught, to assimilate experiences in certain ways. As we get older and supposedly wiser, we STOP fully experiencing things in the moment. We say, "Oh, that in the sky is the Northern Lights." Factual, to the point, smart. And someone says, "Wow, you're Smart." But oh, imagine being a child and seeing the sky light up in sweeps of red and orange and white, giant lines forming and gradually shifting, immensely and completely covering the gigantic sky from horizon to horizon. That is to experience, "AWE." In awe, there is no conception of smart, of needing to know the name of something, or seek a reward from someone. There is no striving. There is only a glimpse of unlimitedness. How often do we let our brains contact a sense of unlimitedness? Perhaps that would take us up closer to 100% of our brain power.
And, dare I say, since we're only using part of our brain, we're not happy! We don't let ourselves experience the part of our brain that is happy. Part of our brain IS happy, I believe, but collectively we do not reward each other's happiness - and so we don't encourage it in one another. We're always told we need to have and do more to be happy. What if we told each other, "You're enough. Just as you are. You will always grow and change - it's inevitable. But right now, in this moment, you are perfect."
What if we were gleeful? What if when everyone looked at us, it was with the gleeful expression of a child? What would we have to fear? What would block us in our striving and keep us perpetually in a state of it? Then there would be no strife, there would just be gleeful forward motion!
So, I have chosen my crusade: I am happy. That is my crusade. It is very, very challenging to allow one's brain to access thoughts of happiness in this world today, when everyone and everything around you is full of stress, tension, dissatisfaction, and injustice. Maybe more challenging than any fight or attempt to correct any of those flaws. I know only a few inspiring people who literally want to put happiness ABOVE all their other goals. That's why most people have goals - to try to get to happiness! I have decided to forge myself a short-cut, and go directly to Happy. I'm just happy. Imagine that!
Against all odds, I have decided to be happy. This goes against everything our parents and ancestors have taught us - that we are striving for something or fighting against something. But instead of occupying myself with things like that, I've decided to occupy myself in what I believe to be a more effective way - with being happy.
It's like they say, "You can't 'fight war.' You have to exude peace." Because fighting war is still fighting, DUH! And striving for happiness is really just "striving," it's not Happiness. Unless you can find happiness in the striving, find peace and enjoyment in the stress. I don't know a lot of people who are striving in that way, though. Most of us are just striving.
But I've been focused on the striving long enough (my whole life!), and now I am focusing on the happiness. Do you remember glee? Perhaps from your childhood? Do you ever let yourself feel that? It's still there. If all the other life lessons are still there, so is your ability to experience glee. But we haven't learned to value glee. We are have not been rewarded for it by our parents (at least not consistently) or by our society, so we hesitate to share it or even experience it. Does anyone else see that that's kind of stupid?
Science tells us we only use 10% of our brain power. What do you suppose that is all about?! Well, we learn, we are taught, to assimilate experiences in certain ways. As we get older and supposedly wiser, we STOP fully experiencing things in the moment. We say, "Oh, that in the sky is the Northern Lights." Factual, to the point, smart. And someone says, "Wow, you're Smart." But oh, imagine being a child and seeing the sky light up in sweeps of red and orange and white, giant lines forming and gradually shifting, immensely and completely covering the gigantic sky from horizon to horizon. That is to experience, "AWE." In awe, there is no conception of smart, of needing to know the name of something, or seek a reward from someone. There is no striving. There is only a glimpse of unlimitedness. How often do we let our brains contact a sense of unlimitedness? Perhaps that would take us up closer to 100% of our brain power.
And, dare I say, since we're only using part of our brain, we're not happy! We don't let ourselves experience the part of our brain that is happy. Part of our brain IS happy, I believe, but collectively we do not reward each other's happiness - and so we don't encourage it in one another. We're always told we need to have and do more to be happy. What if we told each other, "You're enough. Just as you are. You will always grow and change - it's inevitable. But right now, in this moment, you are perfect."
What if we were gleeful? What if when everyone looked at us, it was with the gleeful expression of a child? What would we have to fear? What would block us in our striving and keep us perpetually in a state of it? Then there would be no strife, there would just be gleeful forward motion!
So, I have chosen my crusade: I am happy. That is my crusade. It is very, very challenging to allow one's brain to access thoughts of happiness in this world today, when everyone and everything around you is full of stress, tension, dissatisfaction, and injustice. Maybe more challenging than any fight or attempt to correct any of those flaws. I know only a few inspiring people who literally want to put happiness ABOVE all their other goals. That's why most people have goals - to try to get to happiness! I have decided to forge myself a short-cut, and go directly to Happy. I'm just happy. Imagine that!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Summer Solstice
Summer is such a glorious time of year! The sun's intense energy is high, and it seems like the whole wide world is in full bloom with possibilities.
Below is a shot I took on my recent trip to Ohio - it is a pathway in the garden surrounding Stan Hywet Hall in Akron, Ohio, the historic mansion belonging to the Sieberling family (Mr. Sieberling was the founder of Goodyear, the tire company). Look how lush the trees are!
Even the night air is warm in the summer time - one of my favorite delights is taking a walk through the city on a mild evening after dark. This year, there is some flowering tree that must have had a good season, because everywhere I go, all around New York, I can smell its brilliant fragrance. I don't know what it is, but it is sweet, and fresh, and strong - inspiring qualities, if I say so myself!
Summer is the time for little excursions and adventures, as well as putting projects into full swing. Somehow, it seems like everything is heightened all at once. I both want to go on more little vacations, and also work my hardest this time of year. Is it because the days are so long? Is it because the weather is so pleasant that I want to maximize it both for pleasure and for productivity?
Whatever it is, nature does it again, always knowing exactly the right season for everything. Summer's energy is so big, it's hard to ignore nature this time of year, as it provides gift after gift of pleasant sights (blue skies, plants in bloom), pleasant feelings (soft air on skin, warmth), pleasant smells (flowers, plants, fresh air), and pleasant tastes (strawberries!). I'm no hippie, but the summer sure makes me think I could have been one.
Below is a shot I took on my recent trip to Ohio - it is a pathway in the garden surrounding Stan Hywet Hall in Akron, Ohio, the historic mansion belonging to the Sieberling family (Mr. Sieberling was the founder of Goodyear, the tire company). Look how lush the trees are!
Even the night air is warm in the summer time - one of my favorite delights is taking a walk through the city on a mild evening after dark. This year, there is some flowering tree that must have had a good season, because everywhere I go, all around New York, I can smell its brilliant fragrance. I don't know what it is, but it is sweet, and fresh, and strong - inspiring qualities, if I say so myself!
Summer is the time for little excursions and adventures, as well as putting projects into full swing. Somehow, it seems like everything is heightened all at once. I both want to go on more little vacations, and also work my hardest this time of year. Is it because the days are so long? Is it because the weather is so pleasant that I want to maximize it both for pleasure and for productivity?
Whatever it is, nature does it again, always knowing exactly the right season for everything. Summer's energy is so big, it's hard to ignore nature this time of year, as it provides gift after gift of pleasant sights (blue skies, plants in bloom), pleasant feelings (soft air on skin, warmth), pleasant smells (flowers, plants, fresh air), and pleasant tastes (strawberries!). I'm no hippie, but the summer sure makes me think I could have been one.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Modeling for Angela Cappetta - the results!
The photos that Angela Cappetta took of me have been submitted to the stock house and are now ready for license! I was very excited when Angela shared this tip with me:
Go to www.gettyimages.com.
Click on "creative."
Type "Cappetta" in the search box.
Voila! Fun photos of me modeling with cupcakes. I especially like the face I'm making when it looks like I'm about to bite into that slice of cake. I did eat quite a few cupcakes that day, as I recall...
And, check out Angela's other work, too! She's an incredible documentary-style photographer, with an unbelievably quirky eye. Her work alternately cracks me up and makes me think. I love her. I especially love her shots of the burning chair, which you will also see on her Getty page. (Follow the link below to visit her website.) Enjoy!
Angela is one of my mentors and I simply adore her work. There is such a subtlety of tone to the way she captures a moment, that I can feel her hand as an artist when I view her images - the same way I feel it when I look at the most successful paintings in museums. She is truly a genius.
Angela has that gift that young artists are always seeking to find - that "je ne sais pas" that is uniquely hers. It is real substance, real emphasis on the perspective of the artist, unlike so many of the images that pass by our eyes every day in the media, purposely intended to relate to the perspective of you the viewer, rather than give voice to something as subtle as the shooter's innermost thoughts about what she or he is observing. Angela is an excellent modern-day role model for young artists because her vision is so distinct. Instead of trying to emulate anyone else, she pushes the "self" in her work to be more and more evident - which is what only a great artist of any time is capable of.
Did I mention that I LOVE the burning chair?
photos by: Angela Cappetta
Go to www.gettyimages.com.
Click on "creative."
Type "Cappetta" in the search box.
Voila! Fun photos of me modeling with cupcakes. I especially like the face I'm making when it looks like I'm about to bite into that slice of cake. I did eat quite a few cupcakes that day, as I recall...
And, check out Angela's other work, too! She's an incredible documentary-style photographer, with an unbelievably quirky eye. Her work alternately cracks me up and makes me think. I love her. I especially love her shots of the burning chair, which you will also see on her Getty page. (Follow the link below to visit her website.) Enjoy!
Angela is one of my mentors and I simply adore her work. There is such a subtlety of tone to the way she captures a moment, that I can feel her hand as an artist when I view her images - the same way I feel it when I look at the most successful paintings in museums. She is truly a genius.
Angela has that gift that young artists are always seeking to find - that "je ne sais pas" that is uniquely hers. It is real substance, real emphasis on the perspective of the artist, unlike so many of the images that pass by our eyes every day in the media, purposely intended to relate to the perspective of you the viewer, rather than give voice to something as subtle as the shooter's innermost thoughts about what she or he is observing. Angela is an excellent modern-day role model for young artists because her vision is so distinct. Instead of trying to emulate anyone else, she pushes the "self" in her work to be more and more evident - which is what only a great artist of any time is capable of.
Did I mention that I LOVE the burning chair?
photos by: Angela Cappetta
Friday, June 6, 2008
Self-Reflection
[Or, "What kind of art school would this be without occasional self-portrait and self-reflection assignments?"]
Today I was being interviewed [for an undisclosed purpose], and I was asked to describe myself. At first I thought, "Hmmm, well, what does it say on my facebook profile? It says I'm always 'having epiphanies.'" And it's true!
As the questioning continued, I thought long and hard about what having epiphanies about life and creativity have to do with one another. I thought about my passion for inspiring people, and how I love to see others inspiring people as well. For example, the David Lynch Foundation has created a program for teaching students how to meditate, and has had some phenomenal results with reducing and even eliminating violence in schools!
So, one might ask (and my interviewer did), "So, why don't you teach meditation? Why photography?"
Well, that is a good question. I feel that meditation, yoga, any form of relaxation and centering that helps me to focus is useful in that it clears some of the clutter from my mind. But my real epiphanies are about tangible, physical results in the world I live in. There are many people who are great at clearing their minds and helping others to do so. I am better at pondering things and coming up with creative solutions and ideas. My real goal is to inspire people through example and encouragement - therefore, my ability to meet my larger goals of affecting the world relies upon my willingness to pursue my own success.
Often, I tell the story about when I was a small child, and how I would become completely overwhelmed by my existence in a moment. Everything felt utterly magical. I remember seeing things on the street where I grew up in Cleveland - everyday things like a tree or the way a wire fence had been bent down over time - and finding them so beautiful and perfect that I wished they could be recorded forever. That is why I am a photographer. It has taken me years to identify that story as the most important story of my career, and maybe even my life. And as time goes on, I find better and better ways to explain what I didn't have words for when I was small.
I believe that everyone has a dream like this. Maybe they don't remember what it is. Maybe it comes to them as a recurring thought. Maybe they never lost sight of it at all, and they are always working towards it - then they are lucky. I think for most people, it is something that escapes them a lot of the time, having been socialized to prioritize other responsibilities. In the pursuit of this dream, of creating art out of the beauty of my life experience, I hope that I inspire people along the way who are trying to come back into contact with their dreams.
Just that thought keeps me going when I have been working too hard, when there are archives to go through, submissions to be made, and photos due to several clients. Each time I interact with anyone, it is a chance for them to come into contact with evidence that it is all right to live your dream. I take that as a pretty serious calling to live that evidence!
The interviewer asked, "What is your biggest dream?"
And I said, "I want to change the world!"
I blurted it out, and then thought to myself, "Doesn't everyone?" I really do believe that we all have a gift inside that feels large enough to impact the world, and so we all really do have a sense that we might and could. Whether your environment is big or small, the energy you bring to it really does make a difference. And that environment is related to others, and those to others, and on and on.
So, we're all changing the world all the time. Isn't that worth making art about? I sure think so.
Today I was being interviewed [for an undisclosed purpose], and I was asked to describe myself. At first I thought, "Hmmm, well, what does it say on my facebook profile? It says I'm always 'having epiphanies.'" And it's true!As the questioning continued, I thought long and hard about what having epiphanies about life and creativity have to do with one another. I thought about my passion for inspiring people, and how I love to see others inspiring people as well. For example, the David Lynch Foundation has created a program for teaching students how to meditate, and has had some phenomenal results with reducing and even eliminating violence in schools!
So, one might ask (and my interviewer did), "So, why don't you teach meditation? Why photography?"
Well, that is a good question. I feel that meditation, yoga, any form of relaxation and centering that helps me to focus is useful in that it clears some of the clutter from my mind. But my real epiphanies are about tangible, physical results in the world I live in. There are many people who are great at clearing their minds and helping others to do so. I am better at pondering things and coming up with creative solutions and ideas. My real goal is to inspire people through example and encouragement - therefore, my ability to meet my larger goals of affecting the world relies upon my willingness to pursue my own success.
Often, I tell the story about when I was a small child, and how I would become completely overwhelmed by my existence in a moment. Everything felt utterly magical. I remember seeing things on the street where I grew up in Cleveland - everyday things like a tree or the way a wire fence had been bent down over time - and finding them so beautiful and perfect that I wished they could be recorded forever. That is why I am a photographer. It has taken me years to identify that story as the most important story of my career, and maybe even my life. And as time goes on, I find better and better ways to explain what I didn't have words for when I was small.
I believe that everyone has a dream like this. Maybe they don't remember what it is. Maybe it comes to them as a recurring thought. Maybe they never lost sight of it at all, and they are always working towards it - then they are lucky. I think for most people, it is something that escapes them a lot of the time, having been socialized to prioritize other responsibilities. In the pursuit of this dream, of creating art out of the beauty of my life experience, I hope that I inspire people along the way who are trying to come back into contact with their dreams.
Just that thought keeps me going when I have been working too hard, when there are archives to go through, submissions to be made, and photos due to several clients. Each time I interact with anyone, it is a chance for them to come into contact with evidence that it is all right to live your dream. I take that as a pretty serious calling to live that evidence!The interviewer asked, "What is your biggest dream?"
And I said, "I want to change the world!"
I blurted it out, and then thought to myself, "Doesn't everyone?" I really do believe that we all have a gift inside that feels large enough to impact the world, and so we all really do have a sense that we might and could. Whether your environment is big or small, the energy you bring to it really does make a difference. And that environment is related to others, and those to others, and on and on.
So, we're all changing the world all the time. Isn't that worth making art about? I sure think so.
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